Reading Step 5, “On Repentance”

Speaker 1 0:00

Let's begin by reading Step 5 from the Ladder of Divine Ascent by St John Climacus, on painstaking and true repentance, which constitutes the life of the holy convicts, and about the prison. Once John outran Peter and now. Obedience precedes repentance, for the one who came first is a figure of obedience and the other of repentance. Repentance is the renewal of baptism. Penitent is a buyer of humility. Repentance is constant distrust of bodily comfort. Repentance is self-condemning reflection and carefree self-care. Repentance is the daughter of hope and the renunciation of despair. A penitent is an undisgraced convict. Repentance is reconciliation with the Lord by the practice of good deeds contrary to the sins. Repentance is purification of conscience. Repentance is the voluntary endurance of all afflictions. A penitent is the inflictor of his own punishments.

Reading Pt. 1 “About the Prison”

Speaker 1 1:48

Repentance is a mighty persecution of the stomach and the striking of the soul into vigorous awareness. Gather together and come near all you who have angered God. Come and listen. Let us give first place and first honour to the story of the dishonoured, yet honoured workers. Let all of us who have suffered an unexpected and inglorious fall, listen, watch and act. Rise and be seated. You who, through your falls, are lying prostrate. Attend my brothers, attend to my word, incline your ears, you who wish to be reconciled afresh with God by a true conversion, weak as I am, I heard that there was a certain powerful and strange way of life and humility for those living in a separate monastic establishment called the prison, which was under the authority of the above-mentioned man. That light of lights, that light of lights. So, when I was still staying there, I asked the good man to allow me to visit it, and the great man, never wishing to grieve a soul in any way, agreed to my request. And so, coming to this abode of penitence and to this true land of mourners, I actually saw if it is not audacious to say so what, in most cases, the eye of a careless person never saw and what the ear of a slothful person never heard, and what never entered the heart of an indolent person, that is.

Speaker 1 4:25

I saw such of those guilty yet guiltless men standing in the open air all night till morning and never moving their feet by force of nature, pitifully dazed by sleep. Yet they allowed themselves no rest but reproached themselves and drove away sleep with dishonors and insults. Others lifted up their eyes to heaven and, with wailings and outcries, implored help from there. With wailings and outcries, implored help from there. Others stood in prayer with their hands tied behind their backs like criminals, their faces darkened by sorrow. Bent to the earth, they regarded themselves as unworthy to look up to heaven, overwhelmed by the embarrassment of their thoughts and conscience, they could not find anything to say or pray about to God, how or with what to begin their prayers. But, filled with darkness and a blank despair, they offered to God nothing but a speechless soul and a voiceless mind. Others sat on the ground in sackcloth and ashes, hiding their faces between their knees, and they struck the earth with their foreheads. Others were continually beating their breasts and recalling their past life and state of soul. Some of them watered the ground with their tears. Others, incapable of tears, struck themselves. Others, incapable of tears, struck themselves. Some loudly lamented over their souls as over the dead, not having the strength to bear the anguish of their heart. Others groaned in their heart but stifled all sound of their lamentations, but sometimes they could control themselves no longer and would suddenly cry out.

Speaker 1 7:02

I saw there some who seemed, from their demeanor and their thoughts, to be out of their mind. In their great disconsolateness, they had become like dumb men in complete darkness and were insensible to the whole of life. Their minds had already sunk to the very depths of humility and had burnt up the tears in their eyes with the fire of their melancholy. Others sat pensive and bowed to the ground, swaying their heads unceasingly and roaring and moaning like lions from their inmost heart to their teeth. And some were praying in good hope and asking for complete forgiveness.

Speaker 1 7:52

Others, out of unspeakable humility, condemned themselves as unworthy of forgiveness and would cry out that it was not within their power to give an apology before God. Some begged the Lord that they be punished here and receive mercy in the next world. Others, crushed by the weight of their conscience, would say in all sincerity spare us from future punishments, even though we are not worthy to be granted the kingdom, and that will satisfy us. I saw their humble and contrite souls oppressed by the weight of their burden. Their voices and outcries to God would have moved the very stones to compassion, for casting their gaze to the earth.

Speaker 1 8:54

They would say we know. We know that in all justice we deserve every punishment and torment. For even if we were to summon the whole world to weep for us, we would not be able to give an apology for the multitude of our debts. But this is our only petition, this our prayer, this our supplication, that he may not rebuke us in anger, nor chasten us in his wrath. Punish but spare. It is sufficient for us if thou deliverest us from thy great threat, from the unknown and hidden torments, for we dare not ask for complete forgiveness. For we dare not ask for complete forgiveness, how could we? For we have not kept our vow spotless, but after thy former loving kindness and forgiveness, we have defiled it.

Speaker 1 10:01

And there, friends, the fulfillment of the words of David could be clearly seen Men enduring hardship and bowed down to the end of their life, going about with a downcast face, all day long, noisome on account of the corruption of their body's wounds. And they took no notice of them. And they forgot to eat their bread, and they mingled their drink of water with weeping. They ate dust and ashes with their bread, and their bones cleaved to their flesh and were withered like grass. You could hear from them nothing but the words Woe, woe. Alas, alas, it is just. It is just Spare us, spare us, o Master.

Speaker 1 10:56

Some were saying have mercy, have mercy. And others still more plaintively Forgive, o Master, forgive, if it is possible. One could see how the tongues of some of them were parched and hung out of their mouths like a dog's. Some chastised themselves in the scorching sun, others tormented themselves in the cold. Some, having tasted a little water so as not to die of thirst, stopped drinking. Others, having nibbled a little bread, flung the rest of it away and said that they were unworthy of being fed like human beings, since they had behaved like beasts.

Speaker 1 11:49

Where could you see anything like laughter or idle talking, or irritation or anger? They did not even know that such a thing as anger existed among men, even know that such a thing as anger existed among men, because in themselves grief had finally eradicated anger. Where among them were gainsaying or a feast, or audacious speech, or concern for the body, or a trace of vanity, or hope of comfort, or thought of wine or eating of fruit and the cheer of cooked food or pleasing the palate? For even the hope of all such things had been extinguished in them in this present world, been extinguished in them in this present world. Where amongst them is there any care for earthly things or condemnation of anyone? Nowhere at all.

Speaker 1 12:55

Such were the unceasing utterances and cries to the Lord which they made, some striking themselves hard on the breast, as if, standing before the gates of heaven, would say to God Open to us, o Judge. Open, we have shut ourselves out by our sins. Open to us. Others would say Cause thy face to shine and we shall be saved, and again give light to the humble sitting in darkness and in the shadow of death. And another let thy compassions quickly go before us, o Lord. We have perished, we have despaired for we have utterly fallen away. Some would say will the Lord ever again cause his face to shine upon us? Others will our soul pass through the insupportable debt? Another said will the Lord at last be moved to mercy for us? Shall we ever hear him say to us who are in unending bonds Go forth. And to us who are in the hell of repentance Be ye forgiven. Has our cry reached the ears of the Lord? They all used to sit with the sight of death unceasingly before their eyes and say how will it be with us? What will be our sentence? What kind of end shall we have? Will there be a reprieve for us? Will there be forgiveness for those in darkness, the base, the convicted?

Speaker 1 14:52

Is our prayer powerful enough to enter before the Lord, or has it not been deservedly rejected, deemed worthless and shameful. And if it did reach the Lord, how much of the divine favor would it gain there? What success would it have? What profit would it bring? What power would it have coming from foul lips and bodies? It would not have great power. And so would it reconcile us with the judge completely or only in part, or even to the extent of half our sores because they really are great, calling for much sweat and labor and toil? Have our guardian angels drawn nearer to us or are they still far from us? And until they come nearer to us, all our labors are futile and useless, for our prayer has not the power of access nor the wings of purity to reach the Lord, unless our angels approach us and take it and bring it to the Lord.

Speaker 1 16:12

Some often expressed their doubts to each other and said Are we accomplishing anything, brothers? Are we obtaining our requests? Will the Lord accept us again? Are we obtaining our requests? Will the Lord accept us again? Will he open to us? And to this others would reply who knows, as our brothers the Ninevites said, if God will repent and will deliver us, even from great punishment. In any case, let us do our part, and if he opens the door. Well and good, and if not blessed, is the Lord God who, in his justice, has closed the door to us. At least let us persist in knocking at the door till the end of our life. Perhaps he will open to us, for our great assiduity and importunity. Therefore, they exhorted one another saying Let us run, brothers, let us run, for we need to run, and to run hard, because we have fallen behind our holy company. Let us run and not spare this foul and wicked flesh, but let us kill it as it has killed us. And that is what these blessed ones, who had been called to account, were actually doing.

Speaker 1 17:43

From the number of their prostrations, their knees seemed to have become wooden, their eyes dim and sunk deep within their sockets. They had no hair. Their cheeks were bruised and burnt by the scalding of hot tears. Their faces were pale and wasted. They were quite indistinguishable from corpses. Their breasts were livid from blows and from their frequent beating of the chest they spat blood. Where was to be found in this place any rest on beds or clean or starched clothes? They were all torn, dirty and covered with lice. In comparison with them, what are the sufferings of the possessed or of those weeping for their dead, or of those living in exile or of those condemned for murder. Their involuntary torture and punishment is really nothing in comparison with this voluntary suffering.

Commentary “On Repentance” & Pt. 1 “About the Prison”

Speaker 1 18:59

I ask you, brothers, not to regard all this as a made-up story, not to regard all this as a made-up story. So there is the introduction to the prison, but let's pause there for a moment, because this is a tough piece of patristic literature, patristic culture and ethos to understand. I would like to draw your attention to a very important episode in the life of Saint Seraphim of Saro. You will remember that Saint Seraphim is famous, among other things, for having prayed on a rock for a thousand days and a thousand nights, something totally inconceivable and, one would say, fantastic in its claim, because, humanly speaking, I'm not sure if that's even within the realm of possibility, but that's what his life says, that he did that, and sometimes I think, because the person who or persons who have written the various lives of Saint Seraphim were not probably on the same level of Saint Seraphim himself or close to that we have the impression that this is what happens when you become holy when you're a holy person, you can do these things. You can do things that only Superman could do, such as praying on a rock for a thousand days and a thousand nights.

Speaker 1 20:51

But in fact, this goes precisely to what we have just read, because, preceding this event in the life of Saint Seraphim, he was one of the two candidates to become abbot of the monastery where he was. Saint Seraphim actually stepped down and allowed the other candidate to be elected, which he was, and there was no hard feelings on the part of Saint Seraphim. He stepped down voluntarily. But what happened was the abbot felt that it was better for Saint Seraphim not to be around, and so after that, he suffered a certain persecution and he was forced to, or encouraged to, leave the monastery, which he did again peacefully, without causing any disruption in the life of the monastery.

St. Macarius the Great

Speaker 1 21:48

But, as they say, there was a certain not feeling sorry for himself, but a certain regret for what had happened, and that regret caused or resulted in a diminution of the grace that he had received and he had managed to retain for a significant period of time. And it was not the loss of grace even, but the diminution of that grace that caused him to beseech the Lord in many and various ways, which included praying on the rock for a thousand days and a thousand nights that God might restore him to his former state, the state that he had once known, and the state that meant that he could not rest, he could not have peace, he could not go back to a former way of life, a former state. And because of that, this incredible feat of repentance is revealed in the life of Saint Seraphim of Sarov, that great, great saint. So you see where they're coming from. These are monks who had known great grace had been given for reasons which only the Lord knows. In each case, god gives for reasons that only he knows. And they could not go back to their former way of life, and such was the intensity of their repentance that a special space needed to be created for them, even in a monastery which was already austere, which was already a challenging place to live, but reserved for these particular athletes, these particular spiritual athletes. But that shows you that you can fall, as we see in the lives of the saints.

Fr. Zacharias: allow God to plan your life

Speaker 1 24:10

Remember the story of I think it's attributed to Saint Macarius, where he has died and he's ascending to heaven. Now you have escaped us, macarius? Not yet. And then he goes up high. Now, surely you have escaped us, macarius, you're approaching the presence of God Not yet and then, finally, when he's before the throne of God. Now you can't deny that you've escaped us, macarius, can you? Yes, but only by the grace of God. So a humble disposition is required of us, even in eternity. Will the Lord cause his face to shine upon us again? And so on. We've said this already several times, but it bears repeating.

Repentance a gift of grace

Fr. Zacharias: “No recipes”, methods, techniques

Speaker 1 25:04

Father Zacharias says it repeatedly throughout his remarkable writings that we must place ourselves in God's hands and allow him to plan our life, to guide us, to show us and reveal to us what we need to do. Each one of us needs to do. You can't say, oh, I like this, I'm going to try and do this myself. Very dangerous, not a wise thing. Repentance is a grace given to each one of us according to our needs, according to our circumstances, according to God's knowledge of what is required of each of us. So there are no recipes. Father Zacharias keeps repeating this phrase. There are no recipes.

Speaker 1 25:55

In the spiritual life, we tend to want to discover methods and systems, techniques, so that we feel that now I know I'm making progress, I've reached this stage. Is it purification? Is it illumination? Is it theosis? No, there are no recipes. In any case, our whole life is theosis, our whole life is purification, our whole life is illumination. When we're touched by the grace of God, all these things happen simultaneously, but for the purpose of clarification and transmitting certain truths, the Fathers have, at times, for pedagogical reasons, given us a shape, but it doesn't mean that that's a method or a system or a technique. It means there are these aspects to the spiritual life which we must be aware of that the heart needs to be purified, that the noose needs to be enlightened and that the sanctification of the whole human being must take place, including the body, which has certain significant consequences, so that, when we behold our Lord in glory, every aspect of our being, every dimension of our being is filled with his being, with his life so no recipes with his being, with his life, so no recipes.

Superman syndrome

Speaker 1 27:27

These people didn't have to plan to live this way. It came naturally as part of their spiritual journey, which was revealed to them by God. We have a weakness in our Western mindset when we see Superman, we want to be Superman, we think we can somehow be Superman. No, there's no Superman. What we need is God to reveal to us what he wants from each one of us. And we've said many times for one person it's one thing, for another person it's another. And we all contribute in our own way according to the talents that have been given. That's what we've been called to multiply and to offer humbly.

Humility of the “Prisoners”

Striving for humblemindedness with guidance

Speaker 1 28:15

The spiritual disposition is the most important thing. Look how many times and some would say in a strange way, that these were acts of humility buying humility, producing humility, inspiring humility we ask for tapino frosini. St Ephraim's prayer asks God to give us a humble-mindedness. Without a humble-mindedness we cannot achieve anything. And this is asceticism. And when the ascetics become so strict and so harsh and look, they're beating their chests and they're spitting blood. They use every trick in the book to humble themselves. When the mind resists, when the mind becomes tired and satiated and doesn't want to repent anymore, when we look for comfort and we say it's enough, they push themselves further, but again in an inspired way and not without guidance.

Shocking example of St. Symeon the New Theologian

Dangers of extreme ascetic practices

Speaker 1 29:33

Very dangerous to try this by yourself. If you read St Simeon the new theologian on penitence it's at the end of his discourses, it's the two discourses at the end on Eucharist you'll find some equally shocking pieces of advice that he's giving to his own monks and he tells them stand in your corner in your cell, raise your hands up, look at your hands and confess what you've done with these hands. And confess what you've done with these hands and then beat yourselves. Beat yourselves Very risky. You can't do that by yourself. You can't read St Simeon and say, oh, that's what I'm going to do. Then it is psychological and it's not spiritual and you will become sick, mentally sick. If you try to do this by yourself, you'll become mentally sick.

Patience in learning the ways of the Saints, imitators of Christ

Importance of a chaste way of life

Admonition of a father to his son

Speaker 1 30:35

Guidance and understanding that the Lord will inspire us to do what we need to do, to humble ourselves, to learn the humility of Christ, to discover the will of God, to discover the will of God and to follow his humble way. This is the beginning. Be patient, learn the ways of the church, learn the ways of the saints who are imitators of Christ, patiently. And the things that we don't understand? We have to wait patiently for the Lord to reveal to us what they mean and whether they apply at all to us. They may not. First of all, we're not monastics most of us, although some of us are living a monastic life, and that's good. Some of us are living a monastic life, and that's good. A chaste way of life is the best preparation for serving the church in any capacity. That's why, traditionally, monasteries have been our teachers monks' monasteries.

Speaker 1 31:50

There's an anonymous admonition of a father to his son. I quote it in my book on salvation. I myself found it in Metropolitan Callistos' article, the one where he compares St John Climacus and St Simeon the new theologian, on the question of the spiritual father. So it's called Admonition of a Father to His Son, where his father is writing to his son recommending that he visit the monastery which is near him and learns from the life of the monastics. And he says to him take each word that they speak to you as pearls, precious pearls, and keep them. Keep them as a treasure for your life, to inspire you and to help you to live a Christian life in the world.

Practice of repentance and humility under obedience

Celtic and early Anglo-Saxon Saints

Speaker 1 32:46

So these are in a sense the specialists of our specialists, because they're in the prison. They're in this remarkable place called the prison, which is unusual even in the context of Sinait monasticism. In this case, as I said, the important thing is that this be done under obedience and with guidance from an experienced spiritual guide. And these practices we know they go back a long way. We see them, I think, a lot of the Celtic saints and the early Anglo-Saxon saints. They're known for this from what the sources reveal to us, and so it's part of the ascetic culture of the church. But again, it's highly specialized and it's something which, if you decide to do that by yourself, you're already placing yourself in danger.

Spiritual phenomena not to be taken on emotional and psychological level

Speaker 1 33:44

Anyone who guides himself, as Abba Dorotheus says, falls like leaves from a tree inevitably and I say that and I repeat that because sometimes people very easily get the wrong impression what I want to say is, first of all, this is not on the emotional and psychological level. Yes, this is not normal. It is a spiritual phenomenon which has to be understood spiritually and all the other things that we said about the importance of guidance. So Saint John is unfolding for us this mystery here in the prison. What is important is not to dismiss this as far-fetched or just sick, psychologically questionable. You know, even 50 years ago that was the general view of monasticism, even in the Orthodox world. There was a professor of theology at Athens who regarded St Simeon the new theologian as a psychopath. Now, monasticism in general was regarded as people who just couldn't cut it in society and who were socially inept and mentally and psychologically lacking or just sick.

Uniqueness of the culture of repentance in the Orthodox tradition

Speaker 1 35:10

At the end of this passage, which we don't have time to read today, st John says he found such comfort in what he saw in the prison. And he repeats please don't take this as a made-up story. And so what this is about, just to put it in the simplest possible terms, there's great depth. There's always a risk when you try to simplify, especially something of profound spiritual importance.

The purpose of our existence

St. Porphyrios on dying

Speaker 1 35:47

In the Orthodox Church, even for those who have tasted a little, grace of repentance is so infinitely great that we must be aware that it is the distinguishing characteristic of our Orthodox faith. The extremity of repentance is due to the fact that the perfection of Christ is infinite. Repentance means growing and changing into the likeness of Christ. That process begins in this world and it continues even in the next, because the perfection of Christ is without end. Father Sophrony used to say If you shut the gates of repentance to your people when you have the responsibility of teaching, you're shutting to them the gates of repentance that allows them to realize the purpose of this life. The purpose of our existence is to become what Christ is by grace, to become children of God by grace, to be images of the image of God and to share his life. And to have the capacity to contain and to increase, to grow. You know, the saints have a way of saying things in a simple way that is helpful.

Speaker 1 37:26

When they said to Saint Porphyrios something about dying and how we don't want you to die, father, we want you to be with us First of all, he said to his spiritual children for Christians there is no death. And he said furthermore, when we die, we pass from this existence to a higher existence. We don't process that very easily because it's beyond our experience at this point. So we pass from this existence, which we consider normal, to a higher existence. And St Porphyrios, again speaking to his spiritual children, tells them the very basic truth that when the Lord takes him, he will be able to be with each one of them 100%, in a way which we don't have now.

Gregory the Theologian and John Damascene

Speaker 1 38:30

We are restricted, we are limited, but that limitation in God is transcended, is overcome, and we see that even in the lives of the saints living in this life. Just as the Lord revealed this to us when he rose from the dead and he was able to pass through walls and eat, and yet his body had these characteristics not limited by creation, the natural laws, so what we see in the saints is a confirmation of what we see in the author and finisher of our salvation. And the life to come is a higher existence and that is revealed to us in part. We see that in the Gospel, we see that in the lives of the saints and we shall see it more perfectly in the life to come. St Gregory the Theologian says in the Paschal Hymns actually it's St John Damascene, but he's quoting St Gregory the Theologian give us to participate in thee more clearly in the never-setting day of the resurrection. This is what our life is all about the hope of the resurrection.

The Ninevites - “and despair not” - peace found in downward movement

Resurrection takes place at the foot of the Cross

Appeal

Speaker 1 39:58

Did you notice the hope of the resurrection in the prison? Let us do our part. You never know. God repented with the Ninevites. Let us do our part. And if he opens the door, well and good, and if not, blessed is the Lord God. This is, and despair not. So there's always hope. But they find peace and comfort in following the Lord in his downward movement, humbling themselves, condemning themselves as unworthy. Because that's when we meet Christ at the foot of the cross, once we have voluntarily followed him down in his condescension, in his self-emptying, to the foot of the cross, that's where the resurrection takes place, because at the foot of the cross, christ embraces and fills all things with himself. So he has filled even the depths of Hades with himself, and there the resurrection takes place. Please subscribe to our channel and share with your friends. Click on the join button below our video and become a friend or reader of the Mount Tabor Academy. Support our drive to introduce the theology and spiritual life of the Orthodox Church to the wider community.